Divorce is a challenging and difficult time. Even after the papers are signed and the process complete, those recently divorced face a number of tough days and hard decisions. The question many people ask after divorce is “Where do I go from here?”
The answer is multifaceted because just as every marriage is unique, so is every divorce a singular process. However, one thing is certain; it is time to put the negative aspects of your relationship in the past and look forward to being a happier and stronger person.
An Unhappy Relationship Is Left Behind
A lot of moving on from a divorce is about letting go. The weight of an unhappy marriage, whether for you or your spouse, is a heavy burden to carry through life. Through divorce, you set that aside, along with all of the negative emotions that come with an unhappy and unhealthy partnership.
You no longer have to invest energy in improving an irreparable marriage or feeding the emotions of anger, frustration, bitterness, jealousy, or confusion that fueled the unhappiness. To do this, you need to break from your past relationship and let go of the expectations you had for the marriage. It also means letting go of resentment or laying blame for the failure of your marriage.
As you let go, you open up your life, time, and energy to positive experiences in the future.
Find the New You in Your New Life After Divorce
A bad marriage becomes a part of your identity, and it will keep you from reaching your true potential. After a divorce, it is possible to explore the parts of your personality that were stifled within the relationship. A huge part of this process is rediscovering who you are, independent and separate from a spouse. Particularly after a long marriage, there is a lot to learn.
Begin with your interests and ask the simple question, “What makes me happy?” Explore the activities you love and invest in the everyday events that bring you joy. It could be as simple as keeping a new wine in the house or starting a different morning routine. This is a daily process of rediscovery, but honoring these seemingly small parts of your personality will eventually equate to a whole, happily single person.
Turn to Other Relationships After Divorce
Often, a marriage takes precedence over other, close relationships. When a marriage ends, part of the heartbreak is losing the relationship you invest such time and effort into. However, people quickly realized that this was only one of many important bonds in life.
In fact, divorce can build up your other relationships if you let it. Throughout the legal and personal process of divorce, friends, and family will be at your side. Open up to the other people in your life and allow them to fill some of the void left by a former spouse. Long after the pain of divorce has faded, the improved relationship with a friend or family member will remain.
Finalize a Divorce With Grace
Successfully moving on from a divorce requires enduring the divorce process with grace and rationality. The process of divorce is tedious and arduous for both parties, even if there is a simultaneous feeling of freedom. It is often tempting to allow emotional responses to dictate your legal actions, but a thoughtful and rational response will lead to a better life after divorce.
Legal counsel can assist with formulating your strategy during the divorce process and response to an ex-partner’s requests or legal action. Instead of becoming angry or hurt, an experienced divorce attorney will advise with logic. The end result is a better legal outcome, a stronger relationship with your children, and a healthier post-divorce relationship with yourself.